Tanglish

Raising kids in the U.S, I have always wondered if my kids will learn Tamil. I always talk in tamil to my son even though he constantly replied back in English. Initially he seemed to be confused with the mix of languages at school and at home. But now-a-days he has a clear understanding of the mix. He speaks tamil words in English sentences and he uses them in the right context in the right grammatical sense. Here’s some of the funny mixes:
I பாழாக் my pant. -> I spoiled my pant.
My tummy is வலிக். -> My stomach is aching.
வாய் is ஒட்-ing.-> Mouth is sticky.
பூச்சி is flying. விரட்டு இட். -> Mosquito is flying. Chase it away.
I want அம்மா பேசு. -> I want mom to talk to me.
Egg is வேகு. -> Egg is boiling.
Dress is not காய். -> Clothes are not dried.
No மறைக்-ing the TV. -> Don’t block my view of TV.
I துறத்து the குருவி. -> I chased the sparrow.
Baby சின்னி பிள்ளை, I பெருசு பிள்ளை. -> Baby is small boy, I am big boy.
Give me some வலி. -> Give me some way.
Don’t put me கீழை. There is முள். -> Don’t put me down. There are stones.
I put செடி for தண்ணி. -> I put water for plants.
I தொலைச்சு one shoe. -> I lost one shoe.
Sun is கூசிங். -> Sun is bright in my eyes.
This was the best of all: he mixed Spanish, English and Tamil all in one sentence:
Abuella is not in வீடு. -> Grandma is not in home.

Who is Superior?

Working for a public services client has given me some valuable experience in this sector. In this blog I share some useful tips for someone that is going into a public services project.

On my first day to work, I didn’t have a badge to enter the building. So the person at the security desk asked for my ID. As she copied my name letter by letter from my ID on to the visitor pass she made several mistakes. On my subsequent visits I noticed that she always misspelled my name. It is not even misspelled, it is no where close to what is on my ID. Maybe it’s because she is always multi-tasking on the phone.

I took a dingy elevator up to the 5th floor. There is a secure door here. If you don’t have a badge, you buzz in and the lady who is the manager (at least that’s what you think when you first see her) let’s you in. Now rule no1: it is very important that you thank her when you enter otherwise you may not be allowed through those magic doors ever again. A guy in my office walked in without thanking her and she complained aloud that he doesn't have any manners and that she would not open the door for this 'ugly face' again.

I went to my place and noticed the desk was too dusty to keep anything. I tried to sweep it off with a paper towel but the dust would just fly and sit in the same place back. So I went to get some water to wipe it off. The not-so-clean cooler had a sticky note with rule no.2 posted on it: “Do not touch your bottle to the spout in order to minimize the chances of spreading an infection!” Well I guess it should be read as “….in order to minimize the chances of getting an infection.”

As I got settled in my place, I heard some jingling bell sounds. I turned around and saw the queen of the palace walk in. She is the cleaning lady. Oh, now I have to tell you something important – if there is a trash can beside your table just move it near someone you want to take a revenge (for e.g. your boss). Chances are that she may empty the trash can over your head (alright, I am going over the board… that’s not actually true. She is very polite… she just empties it on your desk if someone threw a recyclable bottle by mistake into the trash). So that's rule no 3: no trash cans beside your seat else you get trashed for other's mistakes.

Now it is about a half a day since I came in and I want to go to the bathroom. The employees have their own keys to the bathroom and we consultants have to share a common key. So I took the key and exited out of the magic doors to the bathroom. The lock was struck and I struggled with it for sometime but was unable to open it. I have heard that the 9th floor has cutting edge technology bathrooms. They can be opened with a number lock system. And one of my friends had leaked out the password to me. So I buzzed in the magic door to leave the keys inside and then went upstairs to the 9th floor. The queen of the palace was standing outside with some cleaning stuff. As I saw her earlier that day I gave her a friendly smile and went towards the bathroom. She quickly blocked my way and said “you are from 5th floor; go to the 5th floor bathroom”. She immediately went inside and closed the door.

Having learnt rule no. 4 (Use only the bathrooms on your floor), I went down, buzzed in again through the magic doors and took the keys to try again. As I left, I heard the frustrations of the manager-amma that opened the magic door for me. She complained aloud to her friends “how many times this girl goes to the bathroom” and I heard a huge laughter as the door closed behind me.

It was about lunch time, my friends took me to the lunch room. It was actually the printer room with a small table but no chairs. My friends warmed up the food and started eating. One of them even said that it is good to stand and eat because food goes right into your stomach. I liked the idea and joined the gang. Manager-amma walked in to pick up her printer copies. She sniffed the air and left with a loud comment ‘These rise-eaters stink our place…’ Few minutes later, couple of her girl friends walked in with pretense of picking up their printer copies, sniffed the air and left the room whispering something and giggling to themselves.

The next day when we entered then lunch/ printer room, manager –amma was warming up her food. It smelt so offensive in there that we felt like throwing up. We didn’t bother to heat our food that day. Just ate cold food at our desks. Here I learnt rule no: 5 – bring stinking food so no one else can use the microwave after you.

One fine morning I received an email that my badge was ready. I was so happy. I immediately called and made an appointment. I went there promptly. I was asked to wait in the reception. A while later a lady came to me. “Hello ma’am. I am here to get my badge”, I said. She put on her glasses, took one close look at me and said “Who asked you to come?” I said “I called and you asked me to come in at 2:00”. “Well you should have called to check if I am free before you come. I am so busy all day, can’t be waiting for you. I can’t do it today. Call me tomorrow.” Well, I have learnt rule no. 6 – call before you go even if you have an appointment.

I will post more rules as I learn them the tough way, hopefully making it easier for those who are entering this world of superior attitudes.