Explaining "marriage" to a kid

Recently we went to a wedding in India. This was the first time my kids were attending a wedding ceremony. They have never seen one before. Here is a funny conversation with my son:
Arya: What is wedding?
Me: Wedding is a marriage.
Arya: What is a marriage?
Me: It is like a birthday party. People get together, wear pretty dress, have good food and cake.
Arya: Which marriage is this?
Me: This is Indu Athai's marriage.
Arya: Yeah, but which marriage?
Me: What you mean?
Arya: Like, I had 4th birthday, Adi had 2nd birthday... Like that which marriage?
Me: !!!

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A Salute to Teachers

It was over a month since school started. All the kids have settled down except Arya. Going back a couple of months, Arya was so excited about his new school. He called it the big boys school. It gave him a grown up feel.

On the first day of school he was ready quite early - neat and trim, tucked-in shirt, well set hair and above all a smiling face. He seemed to like his classroom setting. While other kids were nervous in the new environment (some were crying), he seemed to actually like the new setting. I was happy that my son liked school right away. As he was quite comfortable, I was thinking of leaving the classroom. He started to cry as I left; I consoled myself that this was only the first day and he’ll soon adjust. The afternoon when I went to pick him up he was all smiles- no complaints.

On the second day he was sobbing in front of the classroom doors; hung on to my shoulders, shed a river of tears and pleaded to take him with me. I felt very weak as the teacher took him inside he wailed “I want to go with mommy …” I left teary-eyed that day. It was getting harder and harder to drop him off at school every day.

Days passed and after about a month and half, I was still the unlucky mom that had to tear apart from a clingy weepy child off the shoulders every morning. The weight was off of my shoulders but sunk my heart deeply for the rest of the day.

I tried all I can - rewarded stickers, took him for weekend outings, picked him up early. I tried explaining to him why schooling is important and how all kids of his age go to school happily. I even tried threatening him that I wouldn't pick him up if he were a cry-baby. In the end, I almost gave up. I found ways to cope up my mornings. Some days I came back home and took a short break before heading to work. Other days, I would divert myself into Google Reader or YouTube during the train ride. I was learning to accept this phase. Kids give us countless tears - both joyful and sorrowful ones, we just hope that the joyous moments outweigh the sorrows.

Then one day, I saw a new teacher in his class. I was worried if this new change was going to make things worse for Arya. But the next day when I dropped him there was no crying. I was surprised and the teacher explained to me that she asked him to promise her that he won’t cry anymore. Later that evening, I tried to ask him what exactly the teacher told him. He couldn’t say it correctly; all I know is that he hasn’t cried at all for the past week (Touch wood, I hope it stays that way) I know he is not doing it because he is afraid of the teacher. I also know that he is not particularly happy about going to school. But how many kids are really happy about going to school? All we want is for them to accept that it is part of life and not to stress too much about it.

Later I thought about it - for what seemed almost impossible to me as a mother, a teacher could do it magically overnight. I was amazed at the power teachers possess. They can achieve and outperform without working late hours like most of us – just simple gestures of kindness and few words of encouragement can change a kid’s world completely.

I’ll finish off here, saluting all teachers around the world that make a positive influence on their students.

Double Ka Meetha / Shahi Tukda on a Friday

It is the much awaited day - a Friday. Fridays are always nice because it is the last day of the work week. And this Friday was extra special because there was a office event - which means one whole day of do-no-work but get paid. Arya woke me up at 5:00am. He was running a high fever. His eyes were watery and he seemed very weak. I decided to take the day off, take care of him and if needed take him to the doctor. He went back to sleep around 7:00am and woke up around 11:00. He came running to me and said "Mommy, it is Friday... I have to go school". I tried to convince him saying he wasn't well so he can stay at home and relax and ... watch Dora all day. Noooo, I want school! So after a quick shower and bowl of cereal, he went to school.

It was about 12:00 - I missed my event. Didn't feel like remoting into work. So got myself about half a day of "do-nothing" time. Well, technically I could run some errands - grocery, laundry, water the plants etc. But no, I am not going to waste my precious time like this. So after spending the next 3 hours doing nothing really useful, I got out off the couch. I thought I should do something that I am passionate about - something that I like but my normal lifestyle doesn't allow for it. After about 5 minutes, I was still thinking what to do. So I google "What am I interested in?" It gave me a bunch of career related websites. Okay, I'll think this up myself. Alright, how about sketching, painting? - it was about 3:00pm, I only have two and a half hours before the kids come home - so can't do much of it. I really love painting but just don't find that order of time. If only I can be on bench for a couple of months...hmmm! Alright let me think of something else. How about cooking? Now I hear some laughing from my inside. It is a miracle if I cook more than twice a week. But cooking is only my hobby. You cannot do it everyday, then it becomes boring, like my job.

Ok so it is cooking then. But what can I cook - I open the refrigerator to get some ideas. I see a pack of bread, some yogurt and ... nothing else - ok I get it - we need to do groceries, but now is not the time for it. I remembered this great dessert I had in India on Hudson. It was a sweet dish made of bread, I don't know the name though. I quickly google for Indian sweet recipes made from bread. I scroll down the search results - not bread pudding, not bread halwa - these recipes didn't sound like what it tasted. It was so rich, creamy ... and finally I decided it could be Double ka meeta or Shahi Tukda. Both recipes were similar with minor differences. Seems like this is a Hyderabadi street-side specialty. Luckily I had all the ingredients for this one. I consolidated the recipes into my own version (that's how you create a signature recipe). It came out delicious, though not exactly the same as India on Hudson. It is a very rich dessert most suited for special occasions or just plain wasted days like the one I just had. Remember to keep the weighing scale away for a few days after having this scrumptious dessert.

Here is the recipe:

White bread - 6 slices
Milk - 4 cups whole milk
Cashew halves - as per liking.
Ghee - to fry the bread

Sugar syrup:
Sugar - 12 tsp & Water-1/2cup
Cardamom powder - a pinch (boil together until it reaches a thin syrupy consistency)

First cut the edges of bread slices and then cut them into triangles. Deep fry the bread pieces in ghee until it is crisp. Prepare sugar syrup as mentioned above. Allow milk to boil in a heavy wide bottom vessel until it reduces to half its volume. Remember to stir continously. Fry cashew halves in ghee on law flame until golden brown.

Arrange fried bread pieces on a plate and pour sugar syrup over it when it is still warm. Wait for few minutes until the bread slices are soaked well. Pour reduced milk over this and top with fried cashew pieces. Enjoy when still warm.


The left overs became kind of mushy. I refrigerated this for a Sunday brunch dessert. Serve chill with a generous topping of warm chocolate syrup.

iPhone4 not cool enough?

It was my birthday morning, I wake up to some noises. Actually it was the happy birthday song from a very familiar voice. I saw a gift-wrapped package on the couch. It was the new iPhone 4. My DH sang and recorded happy birthday for me and set it as a ringtone on the phone. Wow, it was super cool. The look and feel of it, the glass... just felt good holding it. I soon found myself using it in great many ways: text, email, chat, blogs, maps, music, movies, tickets, restaurants - the applications were great many. And best of all, I didn't read any manuals or research on google to use the phone.

DH did all the research for me before buying the phone. He usually gets the best phone that suits my needs. After all this I end up returning the phone and getting a new one - just so I make some noise to prove my existence. I came across a few android phones and got to play with them. For the short period of time that I used, it seemed great - integration with Gmail, Picasa, GTalk was so much better. Someone mentioned that I could easily unlock the phone and just replace the SIM card to use it in India. Getting iPhone to work in India isn't so straight-forward.

So this and some other insignificant reasons set out my mind to android phones. Plus it is google: open systems, freedom to write better apps etc. Meantime, my iPhone was working great. No antenna issues (personally, I think the antenna issue was just a hype... couldn't replicate it on my phone unless you do a little dance with it), good call quality and skype worked flawlessly over wi-fi. DH was convincing me to keep the phone. I would have chosen to keep it if it was my choice. But it was DH's... so had to find something wrong with it.

My trial period was ending and I was still debating whether or not to keep the phone. DH said he bought the phone not just because he liked it but because he thought I would like it. Ohhh... how sweet? ... But my mind doesn't work that way. So here goes my iPhone back into the package for return - for no real reason! After having it for 19 days, I felt so crippled the next day.

I went to the AT&T store to look at my next phone -the androids. And guess what: the androids didn't have the same charm as before. For some reason, when iPhone was in my hands the androids did seem better. Also, I learnt the same day that skype only works on verizon's androids. I understood two things about androids:

1. It is difficult to make apps that will work on all android phones due to the wide range of firmware available. So whether an app will work for you or not is a question.

2. Though android is an open system, the service providers are not so open - cutting down the abilities of your phone. AIM doesn't work on wi-fi, vonage allows only wi-fi and no 3G calls, skype works only on verizon.
Way too many restrictions placed by service providers. Seems like true open system is not yet achieved by google's phones.

So a day has passed since my iPhone had gone and I am left with nothing but these thoughts. I am sure DH is mad at me for returning the phone. It was a birthday present, how could I do it! On the outside I am still speaking great of the androids but inside I hate myself for returning the iPhone. So that night I ask DH to call AT&T and get back my iPhone. So DH calls next morning, I guess he must have told them one of the two things:

1. Oops! I returned my wife's phone accidentally. Can you send it back to me?
2. Oh, I am dumb. After this many years, I still haven't realized that when my wife says a no, she actually means a yes. I shouldn't have returned the phone, can you give it back please...

Well, whatever he said we don't know but basically they were unable to send back the phone. My next option was to get the android that I secretly wanted or to re-order the iPhone. iPhone asked for activation fee again, so I decided to go for the Samsung captivate. It was a cool phone - just saying this to cool myself off. Since I was already on AT&T, they couldn't port my number over again. So placed an order on wirefly, new number.

So on went a few phoneless days - it felt kind of connected and disconnected: connected to people near me, disconnected from rest of the world. I was preparing food in the kitchen one hot summer day when I heard some vague noises, thought it must be a kid’s toy so searched for it to switch off. The sound came from my bag - opened it to see my new phone. This time it was singing "I love you..." I was totally thrilled. DH mentioned that the happy birthday song wasn't lucky, that's why this time he tried a different song. I wondered how he couldn’t give up after all this. Ah! I know... not that he loves me so much but the love for cutting edge technology – he can research and try out new phones in my name. Whatever it is, I was surprised that he had the guts to spend on another phone for me.

First day with my phone - I was completely psyched, showed off to anyone and everyone I met that day. I liked the alerts for new messages on IM or mail with out interrupting the current application. I love how you can directly upload pictures from camera to Picasa albums. Oh and I love the Swype keyboard - so fast and easy to type. And I love the unique looks as opposed to the so common, everyone carries an iPhone look.

On the flip side, I couldn’t get Vonage, Nimbuzz, Sipdroid or other VoIP apps to work in it. Either AT&T blocks them or apps don't support the newer firm wares yet. There seems to be issues with the GPS, but forums say Samsung will come up with a fix for that. I greatly miss the glassy feel of the iPhone. AT&T has not yet confirmed my return. I secretly wish they don't approve and send back the phone.

Meantime, I am trying to enjoy my new phone – just because it is my choice!

A picture with Mickey...

It is the long awaited day, we are visiting Magic Kingdom today. My parents have been telling a lot about this place. Here is where the beautiful princesses live. They have beautiful castle, they ride on a pretty horse carriage. We are going to see the princesses, dance and dine with them... it is going to be a magical day. And I am going to see Mickey. He lives here with his girl friend Minnie. He is my favorite. I eat only Mickey mouse dosa.

Goofy and Donald are putting up a dance show by the castle. People are greatly amused by this show. I wonder why... it is so hot, the sun is melting us off. I see so many fun rides on the other side, I think we should just move on.

We headed to the Fantasy Land - most kiddie rides are here. We went to some rides - Dumbo the Elephant, Cinderella's carousel, Mad tea party... I want to go again and again but Dad says no more. Each ride is about an hour wait in the hot sun. And we cannot take the stroller in the lines. So no place to even sit down and rest. Mom and dad can carry me intermittently but it is not so comfortable in their arms. They keep switching positions and besides you can never rely on them. They can refuse to carry at times. These are the exact same rides that we go on the beach board walk - no wait time, we can go any number of times. I wonder why we came all the way here.

Next we go to a show - Mickey's Philhar Magic. Lucky, only about 10 minutes wait here. The cool A/C is a big relief from the heat. I wish we can just stay here all day. But what is this? All the lights went out. We are shut in a dark room. Donald duck and few other characters come in with a loud music (noise?). Even the big boys can't handle this. It is horrible - the room is all smoky now, I can hardly see anything. Oh! from within the smoke, a ghost or some sort of a monster comes out. It gets closer and closer. The noises get louder. I am scared. Suddenly someone splashes water all over me. I scream at the top of my voice. My baby bro is also crying, mom is trying to close his eyes so he wouldn't be terrified by the monster. Alright now the noises stop and the lights are on finally. Thank god, we are all still alive. Let's get out of here now and never ever turn back here again.

We are now going into Mickey's toontown. Here is where my favorite Mickey and Minnie live. We have to see him. That's why we are here in the first place. Oh, wait... let us just see this one thing before that. It is a giant boat with sprinklers & water leaks. I would love to get soaked now and cool off the heat a bit. Adi & I love playing in water.

It started to rain so heavily. We run into the Toontown Hall of Fame for shelter. Mom said, here is where the fairies and princess live. I always wanted to see the beautiful princesses but now is not the time for it. We have to go back to the water play area. So Adi and I throw tantrums but they wouldn't let us, the rides are all closed due to rain.

When the rains stopped we went to visit Mickey in his country house. Popcorn was popping in Mickey's kitchen. Oh, that reminds me, popcorn, I want to eat popcorn - right now. Mommy... right, I should have guessed... 'No, not now!'. We then visit Minnie's house and enter into the Judge's tent. Here we can meet Mickey and Minnie. Mommy says it is a long wait. But I really want to see Mickey. I love Mickey. This why I came here for... oh! come on Mom let's go. Alright, alright I will be a good boy. I won't ask you to carry me. So after the drama, we enter into the longest slowest moving queue.

I am standing here for about an hour now, my legs are hurting. I've promised to not bother mommy. So I am just going to sit down on the floor. Oh.. this is nice but it will be more comfortable to lie down. I am so sleepy, let me just put my head down for a while... oh, the line is moving - should I get up? No need, line moves very slowly it is not worth getting up to walk just 2 steps. Let me just roll-over. Mom warns me - it is dirty on the floor. Oh.. I know that... but what can I do? I am so tired. Still no signs of Mickey. Adi was so cranky - wailing, hitting and pulling mommy's hair. Mom asks me frequently "can we just leave?". She is going to pull me out of this anytime. This Adi is always a trouble-maker. He is going to ruin all my plans today. Oh good! finally he is going to sleep on mommy's shoulder. He looks so comfortable. Why can't I do that? Where is daddy? Oh, I know - he went to get fast pass for another ride and perhaps he got stuck outside the queue. Mommy can you carry me? I know she'll say no - but after a scene of crankiness, I was on mommy's other shoulder. This was comfortable for a while but soon I realized that if I push Adi off, I'll have more space to sleep. Let me try that.... mommy yells at me and throws me off. She said no more Mickey, let's all go out. No, no, no... I want to see Mickey. That's why I am putting up with all this. So I convinced mommy and our journey see Mickey continues.

It is about two hours since we entered here. Really, I have no energy. I can barely walk or talk. I am so thirsty, I want water. We are stuck in this infintely long queue, no water, no restrooms else we lose our spot in the queue. Finally I give up. I say 'Mom, let's go out. I don't want to see Mickey mouse. Let's just go'. Mom is so mad at me now. Only two more people ahead of us, you better wait now. They finally call us in. Mom & me can barely stand up on our knees.

I can't beleive what I am seeing... Mickey and Minnie are here. It is like magic, my aches and pains are gone. I feel so fresh and lively now. I give them a huge hug. I want to give them a gift. Ah... I should have thought about this before. What can I give... am looking around, can't find any thing interesting. Ah! there in mommy's hand - the camera. That's a great gift for Mickey. Mom gives me "the look". Okay, okay!

Hey! At last we saw Mickey. Great!


I went to school after vacation and here's what I told my class:
"I went to Florida for vacation. I went with my mom, my dad and my brother. We all went to Florida Ms.Vanessa. I fly on the airplane. It was so hot there, very hot. I walk a lot and the sun was so hot. I want to go again, we went to Disney Land."

Kids Art work

Frustrated with scribbling marks all over the walls, we decided to install a board so that kids can sketch freely. The board was a super hit on the first day. I remembered to buy washable markers just to be on the safer side.

Stripes or Skulls - What would you choose?

One Saturday afternoon I went shopping with my son. The kids section in Macy's welcomed us with bright spring colors. I saw several aisles of beautiful girl's dresses in pink and purple. Then it was the newborns section - several aisles of soft pastel yellows and blues, tops and tees adorned with pretty bows and cute little teddy bears. I almost reached the end and I still couldn't find clothes for my boys. I asked someone who worked at the store and they pointed me to the same way that I walked before. "All the way to the end" she said. I went back again and I was astonished to find that only the back wall had some boys clothes. Nothing much! Girls section occupied 60% of the space, newborns took 30% of the space and remaining 10% was for boys (age range 2 to 8). I couldn't believe that I had to shop in this tiny little section for the next years!

I was browsing through the clothes and I couldn't find one thing interesting. I was looking for some casual wear. The tees had terrifying graphic prints - a humungous dragon spitting fire, a dinosaur destroying a city, a speedy car kicking out bikers & pedestrians off the road, a robot shooting in all directions etc. While it is cute for boys to be naughty little rowdies these graphics seem to cross the border of a lovable wildness.

Besides this I saw dump trucks, garbage trucks, bandaged-boy and skulls. I wonder what would be the motivation for anyone to buy these kinds of clothes unless it is for Halloween dress-up. But it was not even the season. These clothes seem to be the spring season arrivals for little boys. Oh and then there was the faded-look, paint ripped off/ splattered screen print tees – definitely NO!!

If you leave out all these then you are left with solids, stripes or checks. I feel like these are very adult-ish. I don’t want to push my kids into these patterns already since they are going to be stuck with them for many years anyway. I don't want my kids to look too nerdy. At the same time I can't accept the way too trendy/ hip looks.

Whatever happened to cute little newborn outfits with sweet wordings like ‘I love my mommy’, ‘My Dad rocks’, etc. Where are the adorable teddy bears, ducklings, cars and trains?

I hope trend changes and boys also get a chance to dress up in something nice and cool.