I was busy clothing-shopping at my favorite store with my son. He saw some random toy and asked me to buy it. This has become a routine for him. Everywhere we go he throws out a tantrum for toys. After buying it, the kids fight over it for the first five minutes and then its charm is gone. It is then lying around in the most irrelevant places, occupying most precious space in the tiny house that we dwell in. Finally when I am on a rare cleaning spree, it is thrown into the basement.
Toys have been mere waste of money, so this time I was very stubborn that I wasn't buying it. He began pleading - "just this one time mommy, please. This and the basket ball and that's it. I won't ask for anything else, he said. I know it is not going to be the last time he is doing this. He was quickly losing temper as I refused to buy it for him.
Firstly I wanted him to realize that he can't get everything by just throwing tantrums. Secondly I wanted him to know the value of money and that we can't afford to buy all the toys in the world. Lastly, I wanted him to know that sometimes we are not going what we want and we need the courage to face it boldly. I was doing this for his own good.
But the argument continued. He begged, screamed, cried, rolled on the floor. Seeing that nothing worked, he started attacking sentimentally. He said "if you don't buy it for me then I will never go out shopping with you again". At this point, I was also frustrated so I said "I don't enjoy going out with you either". Then he said, "I am not your friend". I said, "I don't need your friendship, I have better friends than you". He was silent for a minute and then he said, "but I want to be your friend. I don't want the toy. Can I be your friend again?"
This time I didn't know what to say. I felt choking upon words in my throat, couldn't swallow it or speak it out. Here I am trying to teach the kid "value of money" but the kid just taught me "value of friendship". Somewhere along the big argument I had forgotten my priorities (did I even have one to begin with?) But even after the cries, screams and endless tears the kid had priorities set on his mind. I felt so cheap in front of the kid.
The next day I bought the toy on my way back home. I paid 15$ - felt even cheaper now. I was eager to show it to him, I wanted to see the joy on his face. But it turned out that he forgot the whole incident and gotten past it by then. While he was excited to see the toy, he wasn't overly thrilled by it. As usual, the first five minutes the kids fought for it. Then no one cared - the pieces in the set were all over the place. And it was my turn to clean up!
