Arandavan kanuku irundathellam pei

One dark winter night I was walking in a empty parking lot in a suburb area. I located my rental car easily in the huge parking lot. I have never driven this car before. Everything seemed new, the controls were in places that I was not used to. I got a little scared - how am I going to drive myself to my hotel. I somehow located a few basic controls and went around the parking lot. After a few rounds of test drives, I turned on the gps and headed towards the hotel.

The streets were dark and not much traffic during that time. After a few turns I encountered a road block; detoured my gps to route me alternately. But whichever way I went the gps was still trying to put me back on the same road that was blocked. So I decided to drive farther away and try gps-ing again hoping it will pick up an alternate route. I was on a very narrow but straight road. I saw a car long behind me. Other than that nothing else was in sight. It was pitch dark surrounded by tall trees. No signs of houses or any type of activity. The car behind approaching me. Soon he was tail gating me very closely.

I noticed I was only going at a 20mph. For some reason it felt much faster than 20. I tried to ramp up the speed a bit but I felt very shaky and he was still following me close. So I pulled over slightly on the right to allow him to pass. But instead he stopped adjacent to me and opened his door. Fear grabbed me, I was cold, yet sweating in my palms. I locked my doors immediately. He was saying something but I couldn't hear anything from the inside. I didn't dare to open the windows. I thought he was trying to get me open my car. My heart was beating rapidly, I thought I should dial 911 right away. Then he started cursing/ yelling, atleast it looked like that from inside. Oh... maybe for my slow driving. Thank god, glad that he was not an attacker. He dashed away after letting out his anger. I checked the rear view mirror, no one else was behind me. I started driving slowly.

The tall trees were dancing wildly in the strong winds. I just wanted to get out of this spooky place. But I soon came to a halt when I saw this sign: dead end. I wondered where the car in front of me could have gone. There was no other way other than making a U-turn. So I looked at the rear view mirror and slowly turned the steering wheel. I thought I saw a movement in the back seat through the mirror. My heart beat was going up again... I turned back; there was nothing. So I continued making the U-turn. My heart beat so loudly that one can actually hear it from the outside. The steering wheel was slippery due to the sweat on my palms. And then I saw the most haunted scene ever. I came to a screeching halt as I saw an empty shirt fluttering on a pole. Then someone broke into the car through the windshield. That's it I thought, whatever was following me - a kidnapper, a serial killer, a paranormal thing or may be an alien has caught me alive. I cried out as hard as I can. And then I felt some thing on my lap, the gps had fallen off the the dashboard when I hit a sudden brake. Oh by the way whose shirt was that, how did it get there? I lift my face up - it was a broken stop sign, hanging upside down and fluttering in the winds.

I burst into a heavy sob. Tears flooded down my eyes. How did I end up in this place all alone? I felt something around me, like someone was watching me constantly. What can it be in this lonely place? And then suddenly my brain decided to function. You have a phone and a gps - still in someway connected to the rest of the world; stop crying and start driving. So I drove as fast as I can (still under 40 :) until I came to a highway. Finally happy to see a lighted road and some traffic. I don't know if I was going on the correct route to my hotel but I just kept driving. Just wanted to get as far as I can from whereever I was...

Explaining "Work" to a kid

My son is very curious about "office" and what people do there. One day he asked me if people watch movies in office. Another day he said: "the airport is so big and clean, like office - right?". Another time, I told him we are going to doctor office. Then he thought office is only for doctors. So he asked if I go to see the doctor everyday.

Kids imaginations can be so wild & unbelievable. Below is funny conversation between us:

Arya: Why do you go to office everyday? What do you do there?
Me: Work
Arya: What work?
Me: I dont know, some work.
Arya: Do you have kids in office like me and Adi? What is their names?

(He thought mommy works shifts taking care of kids. During the day she works in office and evenings at home. Funny how he identified correctly that daddy works with computers)

My First R2I Scare

It was the first trip to India after our Return to India (R2I) was finalized and probably the last round trip. The next one hopefully is a one-way ticket to India. Though we visited India several times before, every trip gives a lot of different perspectives on the lifestyle there. The nosy but genuinely caring people; the scream, yell & love relations are always on my mind. Yet some incidents like the one below throw me off the boat. It may take sometime but when the waves settle down and the skies clear up, the soul always swims its way back into the boat.

We were traveling on a mofussil bus one afternoon. After a tiring few days of good food and fun, all of us dozed off as the bus started moving. A while later, maybe after I went into the deepest of deep sleeps, I was thrown forward from my seat due to a sudden brake. The brakes screeched loudly and the bus halted suddenly. A glass shattered into pieces. I woke up totally confused, shocked and hoping it was all a dream. But no it was real. The window in front of me had shattered into pieces when the bus hit a brake.

My son was sleeping on my lap with his head towards the window. Thank God we were all safe. The lady in the front had a minor bruise on her shoulder other than that everyone else were still solid. We quickly dusted off the glass pieces and moved away from the window. Meanwhile the driver continued driving amidst the noises as if the earth would stop spinning if he were to stop driving. Few passengers screamed and then he pulled over reluctantly by the road side. After seeing that no one was hurt he impatiently started the bus again. As the bus jerked through the bumpy road a few more sharp glass pieces that were dangling on the window fell down. One piece fell just two inches from my feet and the piece shattered into my sandals. Thank God we had moved away from the window by that time. Some passengers started to clean up by throwing out the glasses from the bus onto the street. Hopefully no one's tires blew out later that day. A motor cyclist wearing no helmet passed by a few seconds after one of the passengers threw out a big glass piece. Thank God his head was still one piece.

So much value for one's life! - SCARY. The driver, conductor or the passengers didn't show much reaction. Seemed like it was a day-to-day incident for them rather than a accident. Unfortunate accidents can happen anytime in any country but so much reluctance and carelessness among people is what scared me the most. Whether it was a incident or accident, it scared me so much that since my return to U.S I’ve kept myself busy. I guess that helps me keep myself still on the boat.

Explaining "marriage" to a kid

Recently we went to a wedding in India. This was the first time my kids were attending a wedding ceremony. They have never seen one before. Here is a funny conversation with my son:
Arya: What is wedding?
Me: Wedding is a marriage.
Arya: What is a marriage?
Me: It is like a birthday party. People get together, wear pretty dress, have good food and cake.
Arya: Which marriage is this?
Me: This is Indu Athai's marriage.
Arya: Yeah, but which marriage?
Me: What you mean?
Arya: Like, I had 4th birthday, Adi had 2nd birthday... Like that which marriage?
Me: !!!

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A Salute to Teachers

It was over a month since school started. All the kids have settled down except Arya. Going back a couple of months, Arya was so excited about his new school. He called it the big boys school. It gave him a grown up feel.

On the first day of school he was ready quite early - neat and trim, tucked-in shirt, well set hair and above all a smiling face. He seemed to like his classroom setting. While other kids were nervous in the new environment (some were crying), he seemed to actually like the new setting. I was happy that my son liked school right away. As he was quite comfortable, I was thinking of leaving the classroom. He started to cry as I left; I consoled myself that this was only the first day and he’ll soon adjust. The afternoon when I went to pick him up he was all smiles- no complaints.

On the second day he was sobbing in front of the classroom doors; hung on to my shoulders, shed a river of tears and pleaded to take him with me. I felt very weak as the teacher took him inside he wailed “I want to go with mommy …” I left teary-eyed that day. It was getting harder and harder to drop him off at school every day.

Days passed and after about a month and half, I was still the unlucky mom that had to tear apart from a clingy weepy child off the shoulders every morning. The weight was off of my shoulders but sunk my heart deeply for the rest of the day.

I tried all I can - rewarded stickers, took him for weekend outings, picked him up early. I tried explaining to him why schooling is important and how all kids of his age go to school happily. I even tried threatening him that I wouldn't pick him up if he were a cry-baby. In the end, I almost gave up. I found ways to cope up my mornings. Some days I came back home and took a short break before heading to work. Other days, I would divert myself into Google Reader or YouTube during the train ride. I was learning to accept this phase. Kids give us countless tears - both joyful and sorrowful ones, we just hope that the joyous moments outweigh the sorrows.

Then one day, I saw a new teacher in his class. I was worried if this new change was going to make things worse for Arya. But the next day when I dropped him there was no crying. I was surprised and the teacher explained to me that she asked him to promise her that he won’t cry anymore. Later that evening, I tried to ask him what exactly the teacher told him. He couldn’t say it correctly; all I know is that he hasn’t cried at all for the past week (Touch wood, I hope it stays that way) I know he is not doing it because he is afraid of the teacher. I also know that he is not particularly happy about going to school. But how many kids are really happy about going to school? All we want is for them to accept that it is part of life and not to stress too much about it.

Later I thought about it - for what seemed almost impossible to me as a mother, a teacher could do it magically overnight. I was amazed at the power teachers possess. They can achieve and outperform without working late hours like most of us – just simple gestures of kindness and few words of encouragement can change a kid’s world completely.

I’ll finish off here, saluting all teachers around the world that make a positive influence on their students.

Double Ka Meetha / Shahi Tukda on a Friday

It is the much awaited day - a Friday. Fridays are always nice because it is the last day of the work week. And this Friday was extra special because there was a office event - which means one whole day of do-no-work but get paid. Arya woke me up at 5:00am. He was running a high fever. His eyes were watery and he seemed very weak. I decided to take the day off, take care of him and if needed take him to the doctor. He went back to sleep around 7:00am and woke up around 11:00. He came running to me and said "Mommy, it is Friday... I have to go school". I tried to convince him saying he wasn't well so he can stay at home and relax and ... watch Dora all day. Noooo, I want school! So after a quick shower and bowl of cereal, he went to school.

It was about 12:00 - I missed my event. Didn't feel like remoting into work. So got myself about half a day of "do-nothing" time. Well, technically I could run some errands - grocery, laundry, water the plants etc. But no, I am not going to waste my precious time like this. So after spending the next 3 hours doing nothing really useful, I got out off the couch. I thought I should do something that I am passionate about - something that I like but my normal lifestyle doesn't allow for it. After about 5 minutes, I was still thinking what to do. So I google "What am I interested in?" It gave me a bunch of career related websites. Okay, I'll think this up myself. Alright, how about sketching, painting? - it was about 3:00pm, I only have two and a half hours before the kids come home - so can't do much of it. I really love painting but just don't find that order of time. If only I can be on bench for a couple of months...hmmm! Alright let me think of something else. How about cooking? Now I hear some laughing from my inside. It is a miracle if I cook more than twice a week. But cooking is only my hobby. You cannot do it everyday, then it becomes boring, like my job.

Ok so it is cooking then. But what can I cook - I open the refrigerator to get some ideas. I see a pack of bread, some yogurt and ... nothing else - ok I get it - we need to do groceries, but now is not the time for it. I remembered this great dessert I had in India on Hudson. It was a sweet dish made of bread, I don't know the name though. I quickly google for Indian sweet recipes made from bread. I scroll down the search results - not bread pudding, not bread halwa - these recipes didn't sound like what it tasted. It was so rich, creamy ... and finally I decided it could be Double ka meeta or Shahi Tukda. Both recipes were similar with minor differences. Seems like this is a Hyderabadi street-side specialty. Luckily I had all the ingredients for this one. I consolidated the recipes into my own version (that's how you create a signature recipe). It came out delicious, though not exactly the same as India on Hudson. It is a very rich dessert most suited for special occasions or just plain wasted days like the one I just had. Remember to keep the weighing scale away for a few days after having this scrumptious dessert.

Here is the recipe:

White bread - 6 slices
Milk - 4 cups whole milk
Cashew halves - as per liking.
Ghee - to fry the bread

Sugar syrup:
Sugar - 12 tsp & Water-1/2cup
Cardamom powder - a pinch (boil together until it reaches a thin syrupy consistency)

First cut the edges of bread slices and then cut them into triangles. Deep fry the bread pieces in ghee until it is crisp. Prepare sugar syrup as mentioned above. Allow milk to boil in a heavy wide bottom vessel until it reduces to half its volume. Remember to stir continously. Fry cashew halves in ghee on law flame until golden brown.

Arrange fried bread pieces on a plate and pour sugar syrup over it when it is still warm. Wait for few minutes until the bread slices are soaked well. Pour reduced milk over this and top with fried cashew pieces. Enjoy when still warm.


The left overs became kind of mushy. I refrigerated this for a Sunday brunch dessert. Serve chill with a generous topping of warm chocolate syrup.

iPhone4 not cool enough?

It was my birthday morning, I wake up to some noises. Actually it was the happy birthday song from a very familiar voice. I saw a gift-wrapped package on the couch. It was the new iPhone 4. My DH sang and recorded happy birthday for me and set it as a ringtone on the phone. Wow, it was super cool. The look and feel of it, the glass... just felt good holding it. I soon found myself using it in great many ways: text, email, chat, blogs, maps, music, movies, tickets, restaurants - the applications were great many. And best of all, I didn't read any manuals or research on google to use the phone.

DH did all the research for me before buying the phone. He usually gets the best phone that suits my needs. After all this I end up returning the phone and getting a new one - just so I make some noise to prove my existence. I came across a few android phones and got to play with them. For the short period of time that I used, it seemed great - integration with Gmail, Picasa, GTalk was so much better. Someone mentioned that I could easily unlock the phone and just replace the SIM card to use it in India. Getting iPhone to work in India isn't so straight-forward.

So this and some other insignificant reasons set out my mind to android phones. Plus it is google: open systems, freedom to write better apps etc. Meantime, my iPhone was working great. No antenna issues (personally, I think the antenna issue was just a hype... couldn't replicate it on my phone unless you do a little dance with it), good call quality and skype worked flawlessly over wi-fi. DH was convincing me to keep the phone. I would have chosen to keep it if it was my choice. But it was DH's... so had to find something wrong with it.

My trial period was ending and I was still debating whether or not to keep the phone. DH said he bought the phone not just because he liked it but because he thought I would like it. Ohhh... how sweet? ... But my mind doesn't work that way. So here goes my iPhone back into the package for return - for no real reason! After having it for 19 days, I felt so crippled the next day.

I went to the AT&T store to look at my next phone -the androids. And guess what: the androids didn't have the same charm as before. For some reason, when iPhone was in my hands the androids did seem better. Also, I learnt the same day that skype only works on verizon's androids. I understood two things about androids:

1. It is difficult to make apps that will work on all android phones due to the wide range of firmware available. So whether an app will work for you or not is a question.

2. Though android is an open system, the service providers are not so open - cutting down the abilities of your phone. AIM doesn't work on wi-fi, vonage allows only wi-fi and no 3G calls, skype works only on verizon.
Way too many restrictions placed by service providers. Seems like true open system is not yet achieved by google's phones.

So a day has passed since my iPhone had gone and I am left with nothing but these thoughts. I am sure DH is mad at me for returning the phone. It was a birthday present, how could I do it! On the outside I am still speaking great of the androids but inside I hate myself for returning the iPhone. So that night I ask DH to call AT&T and get back my iPhone. So DH calls next morning, I guess he must have told them one of the two things:

1. Oops! I returned my wife's phone accidentally. Can you send it back to me?
2. Oh, I am dumb. After this many years, I still haven't realized that when my wife says a no, she actually means a yes. I shouldn't have returned the phone, can you give it back please...

Well, whatever he said we don't know but basically they were unable to send back the phone. My next option was to get the android that I secretly wanted or to re-order the iPhone. iPhone asked for activation fee again, so I decided to go for the Samsung captivate. It was a cool phone - just saying this to cool myself off. Since I was already on AT&T, they couldn't port my number over again. So placed an order on wirefly, new number.

So on went a few phoneless days - it felt kind of connected and disconnected: connected to people near me, disconnected from rest of the world. I was preparing food in the kitchen one hot summer day when I heard some vague noises, thought it must be a kid’s toy so searched for it to switch off. The sound came from my bag - opened it to see my new phone. This time it was singing "I love you..." I was totally thrilled. DH mentioned that the happy birthday song wasn't lucky, that's why this time he tried a different song. I wondered how he couldn’t give up after all this. Ah! I know... not that he loves me so much but the love for cutting edge technology – he can research and try out new phones in my name. Whatever it is, I was surprised that he had the guts to spend on another phone for me.

First day with my phone - I was completely psyched, showed off to anyone and everyone I met that day. I liked the alerts for new messages on IM or mail with out interrupting the current application. I love how you can directly upload pictures from camera to Picasa albums. Oh and I love the Swype keyboard - so fast and easy to type. And I love the unique looks as opposed to the so common, everyone carries an iPhone look.

On the flip side, I couldn’t get Vonage, Nimbuzz, Sipdroid or other VoIP apps to work in it. Either AT&T blocks them or apps don't support the newer firm wares yet. There seems to be issues with the GPS, but forums say Samsung will come up with a fix for that. I greatly miss the glassy feel of the iPhone. AT&T has not yet confirmed my return. I secretly wish they don't approve and send back the phone.

Meantime, I am trying to enjoy my new phone – just because it is my choice!