Firing questions at the Firemen

My friends had organized a tour of the neighborhood fire station for their kid’s birthday party. The fire men explained the various operations of the fire engine, the tools & equipments they use incase of an emergency. I was amazed at how smart the kids were in asking questions.
The fireman took out a long heavy hammer and axe out of the fire truck. Here is a funny conversation between the fireman and one of the smart kids:

Fireman: We use these tools to pry open locked doors incase of an emergency.
Kid: If you break open the doors then do you close them after you put off the fire.
Fireman: No, we don’t do it. The house owners have to fix it themselves.
Kid: If you leave it open then skunks may enter our house.
Fireman: mm… yeah!
Kid: Oh! I know what you should do. If you are there to put off fire in our house when we are not in home, you should call us immediately. That way we can bring the keys to open the door. Then you don’t have to break our doors.
Fireman: Good idea…

Boys vs. Girls

We have some rose plants in the front of our house. Every morning I step out of the house and pick a rose. My son (3 years old) watched me do this for a few days and then he started getting involved with the process. He likes to boss around all the time, so gradually he started suggesting and then ordering me which flower I should pick. He would point at the tiny bud rose one day and then at the big dried up rose the next day. But he never picked the one I liked. Nevertheless I wanted to encourage his interest and so tried to give some hints to pick the right flower. I told him to look for roses that just started to bloom with the petals still intact but not so closed. I also told him to try to find the closest match to my dress color. I reminded him these points everyday. But everyday he picked a big, dry flower and argued endlessly that it was prettiest of all.

One day I was tired of arguing with him. So I told him that we’ll take two – one of his choice and one of mine. Roses are pretty and they smell good too. I asked him to give it to me because I wanted to smell it. He immediately turned around to show his diaper to me. It was my mistake!! I smell his diaper to judge if he has to be changed.

We reached his school. He handed the flowers to me and said bye-bye. Another little girl in his class was curiously looking at the roses in my hand. I gave the two roses to her and asked her to take the one she liked. Without any hesitation she took the one that I chose earlier. She is younger than my son and had just started to speak few words. She didn’t have to be taught to identify the pretty flower.

I just realized that Boys are boys no matter what we teach or train them.

Tanglish

Raising kids in the U.S, I have always wondered if my kids will learn Tamil. I always talk in tamil to my son even though he constantly replied back in English. Initially he seemed to be confused with the mix of languages at school and at home. But now-a-days he has a clear understanding of the mix. He speaks tamil words in English sentences and he uses them in the right context in the right grammatical sense. Here’s some of the funny mixes:
I பாழாக் my pant. -> I spoiled my pant.
My tummy is வலிக். -> My stomach is aching.
வாய் is ஒட்-ing.-> Mouth is sticky.
பூச்சி is flying. விரட்டு இட். -> Mosquito is flying. Chase it away.
I want அம்மா பேசு. -> I want mom to talk to me.
Egg is வேகு. -> Egg is boiling.
Dress is not காய். -> Clothes are not dried.
No மறைக்-ing the TV. -> Don’t block my view of TV.
I துறத்து the குருவி. -> I chased the sparrow.
Baby சின்னி பிள்ளை, I பெருசு பிள்ளை. -> Baby is small boy, I am big boy.
Give me some வலி. -> Give me some way.
Don’t put me கீழை. There is முள். -> Don’t put me down. There are stones.
I put செடி for தண்ணி. -> I put water for plants.
I தொலைச்சு one shoe. -> I lost one shoe.
Sun is கூசிங். -> Sun is bright in my eyes.
This was the best of all: he mixed Spanish, English and Tamil all in one sentence:
Abuella is not in வீடு. -> Grandma is not in home.

Who is Superior?

Working for a public services client has given me some valuable experience in this sector. In this blog I share some useful tips for someone that is going into a public services project.

On my first day to work, I didn’t have a badge to enter the building. So the person at the security desk asked for my ID. As she copied my name letter by letter from my ID on to the visitor pass she made several mistakes. On my subsequent visits I noticed that she always misspelled my name. It is not even misspelled, it is no where close to what is on my ID. Maybe it’s because she is always multi-tasking on the phone.

I took a dingy elevator up to the 5th floor. There is a secure door here. If you don’t have a badge, you buzz in and the lady who is the manager (at least that’s what you think when you first see her) let’s you in. Now rule no1: it is very important that you thank her when you enter otherwise you may not be allowed through those magic doors ever again. A guy in my office walked in without thanking her and she complained aloud that he doesn't have any manners and that she would not open the door for this 'ugly face' again.

I went to my place and noticed the desk was too dusty to keep anything. I tried to sweep it off with a paper towel but the dust would just fly and sit in the same place back. So I went to get some water to wipe it off. The not-so-clean cooler had a sticky note with rule no.2 posted on it: “Do not touch your bottle to the spout in order to minimize the chances of spreading an infection!” Well I guess it should be read as “….in order to minimize the chances of getting an infection.”

As I got settled in my place, I heard some jingling bell sounds. I turned around and saw the queen of the palace walk in. She is the cleaning lady. Oh, now I have to tell you something important – if there is a trash can beside your table just move it near someone you want to take a revenge (for e.g. your boss). Chances are that she may empty the trash can over your head (alright, I am going over the board… that’s not actually true. She is very polite… she just empties it on your desk if someone threw a recyclable bottle by mistake into the trash). So that's rule no 3: no trash cans beside your seat else you get trashed for other's mistakes.

Now it is about a half a day since I came in and I want to go to the bathroom. The employees have their own keys to the bathroom and we consultants have to share a common key. So I took the key and exited out of the magic doors to the bathroom. The lock was struck and I struggled with it for sometime but was unable to open it. I have heard that the 9th floor has cutting edge technology bathrooms. They can be opened with a number lock system. And one of my friends had leaked out the password to me. So I buzzed in the magic door to leave the keys inside and then went upstairs to the 9th floor. The queen of the palace was standing outside with some cleaning stuff. As I saw her earlier that day I gave her a friendly smile and went towards the bathroom. She quickly blocked my way and said “you are from 5th floor; go to the 5th floor bathroom”. She immediately went inside and closed the door.

Having learnt rule no. 4 (Use only the bathrooms on your floor), I went down, buzzed in again through the magic doors and took the keys to try again. As I left, I heard the frustrations of the manager-amma that opened the magic door for me. She complained aloud to her friends “how many times this girl goes to the bathroom” and I heard a huge laughter as the door closed behind me.

It was about lunch time, my friends took me to the lunch room. It was actually the printer room with a small table but no chairs. My friends warmed up the food and started eating. One of them even said that it is good to stand and eat because food goes right into your stomach. I liked the idea and joined the gang. Manager-amma walked in to pick up her printer copies. She sniffed the air and left with a loud comment ‘These rise-eaters stink our place…’ Few minutes later, couple of her girl friends walked in with pretense of picking up their printer copies, sniffed the air and left the room whispering something and giggling to themselves.

The next day when we entered then lunch/ printer room, manager –amma was warming up her food. It smelt so offensive in there that we felt like throwing up. We didn’t bother to heat our food that day. Just ate cold food at our desks. Here I learnt rule no: 5 – bring stinking food so no one else can use the microwave after you.

One fine morning I received an email that my badge was ready. I was so happy. I immediately called and made an appointment. I went there promptly. I was asked to wait in the reception. A while later a lady came to me. “Hello ma’am. I am here to get my badge”, I said. She put on her glasses, took one close look at me and said “Who asked you to come?” I said “I called and you asked me to come in at 2:00”. “Well you should have called to check if I am free before you come. I am so busy all day, can’t be waiting for you. I can’t do it today. Call me tomorrow.” Well, I have learnt rule no. 6 – call before you go even if you have an appointment.

I will post more rules as I learn them the tough way, hopefully making it easier for those who are entering this world of superior attitudes.

Graduation Party for a 3 year old ???

Many times I have felt that today’s kids get it all. I mean, look at the game arcades, and play areas inside shopping malls. The varieties available to kids in clothing, food are enormous. From bedding to doormats to switch plates everything in kids’ room is adorned with their favorite cartoon character. Oh, and the toys –washable crayons, pretend play sets and play stations keep them in their own world. From pizza to puli saadham by son has tried a variety of dishes. From denim jeans to angavastram dhoties my son has every style of clothing and shoes.

We never had this many choices when we were kids. These thoughts were running through my mind as I was running to my son’s daycare for his graduation party. My first graduation party was when I finished college. But I couldn’t go for it since I wasn’t in town that time. And they actually mailed the certificate by post to my home. I did go for the graduation party after grad school but again no one accompanied me; it was no big deal then. But my son gets a party even before he enters pre-school.

I look through the window and I see that some parents have already come. The kids are dressed up wearing a graduation cap and a medal. They are avidly showing off the books and toys to their parents. I scan the entire room carefully looking for my son. I see him sitting in a corner and looking anxiously at the door. His eyes are shiny; he looks like he’s about to cry. I went in and as soon as he saw me he was all happy and smiling. I guess for sometime, he thought that I may not show up for his party.

There were balloons, cupcakes and other goodies for the kids. The teacher was busy rolling up the certificates and tying them with a piece of satin ribbon. I was surprised that the children were unusually quiet that day despite all the balloons and sugary treats around them. After a while, the teacher picked up a toy mike, started calling out names of kids and distributed the certificates to them. My son was anxiously waiting for his turn. As more and more kids got the certificate he started to feel disappointed. He turned around and said “I am big boy now…” Finally the teacher called out his name, he was jumping happing. He got the certificate from her, turned around, looked at me and smiled so happily & proudly as if he achieved something great.

At that moment, I remembered his first day at the daycare. He clung to my neck and wouldn’t let me go. I left him forcefully with the teacher as he was wailing. I waited behind the doors until he calmed down. A month passed and he had gradually stopped crying but not yet so happy about the place. A month later, he started to like his teacher. He was still not playing with the other kids. I was just starting to feel a little comfortable in the mornings since he was not clinging anymore and he happily went to hug his teacher. Then one day the teacher was sick and she didn’t come in. There was a new teacher that he didn’t like at all. Every morning he would walk in the classroom eagerly looking for his old teacher. But seeing the new teacher I could say that he was disappointed. This happened for about a week and then he was happy again when his old teacher came back. Eventually he started developing friends in his class. He was especially thick friends with one little boy who changed schools after a few months. My son couldn’t understand this and he kept asking why his friend hasn’t come. I felt he was not able to say it correctly but he missed his friend very much. Days went by and he got other friends. Now he wants to wait in school until his friends leave or to take them to our home or to go with them to their place. It is amazing to see how far he has socialized in the last one year. I clapped cheerfully for my son as he ran back to me to show his certificate.

I realized how important this day is for him, how much he has achieved in the last one year. At his age, I never went to school. I must have been pampered by my parents, grandparents and rest of the family. I wouldn’t have had this much exposure to the outside world.

I realized kids get a lot these days but in return the expectation from them is also higher than before. He is going to pre-school in a couple of months and I am already worried how he is going to adjust to the new classroom with new set of kids & teachers...

Who is superior?

This morning the train was awfully crowded. I was standing near the edge. The door was closing when two men squeezed their way through it and squishing me in. The two men sighed with relief as the train started moving. The first man(X) introduced himself to the second man (Y). As they were talking in tamil, I casually started overhearing their conversation.
X: உங்க wife என்ன பண்றாங்க? (What is your wife doing? )
Y: Home-maker ஆ இருக்காங்க. (She is a home maker)
X: ஒ! அப்பிடியா. என் wife கூட வீட்ல சும்மா தான் உட்கார்ந்திருக்கா. (Oh! is it. My wife is also sitting idly at home)
I started to think about the contraries between X and Y’s statements. Respect is in mind and it need not be in words. But when one man speaks respectfully of his wife how can the other man use such a coarse language.
The conversation continues:
Y: Do you have any kids?
X: 2 kids. One girl - 5 years and one boy - 1.5 years old. How about you?
Y: One girl – 2 years old.
Now it was even more amazing to me that X said his wife is sitting idly at home. I began wondering if managing the home and taking care of 2 kids is considered idle, then what is X’s idea of being active. The conversation still continues:
Y: நீங்க என்ன platform-la வேலை பாக்குறிங்க? (What platform you work on?)
X: Java technology
அட தூ! இதுக்கு தான் இவ்வளவு அலட்டலா? He probably doesn’t move out of his desk except for bathroom/ coffee breaks.
So if activity level is not the issue, why does he say that his wife sits idly at home - the fact that he makes money and she does not?
…to be continued….

Abhiyum Naanum

I keep thinking – when is it “enough” for certain things. For example, can you ever retire because you have enough money? Or can you ever have enough love or chocolate? Some things are just too good to deny. Wait… is it true? No it can’t be. Kids are good too, but don’t you feel you’ve had enough with the first one? And if you have two, you are probably thinking … “God is there a return offer on either one?”

Well, I used to think in the same lines as you. But things changed one day after I saw the movie “Abhiyum Naanum”.

The movie is about a dad who recalls the relationship with his daughter Abhi(Trisha) from birth until her wedding. Abhi is the name of our unborn daughter. It’s a name that I have rehearsed several times while I was expecting.

The story is a mix of ‘Father of the bride’ and ‘Meet the parents’ but it is nice to see an Indian movie that highlights a daughter’s relationship. 90% of the Tamil movies I see are aimed at showing why a mother is blessed to have a son (who is probably a rowdy hero!). And almost all the mega serials show the burdens and miseries in the lives of parents of daughters. This film was a change… every scene – screen by screen says one message - “daughters too can bring happiness into life”.

The dad goes through a separation anxiety when Abhi goes to school for the first time. He is worried when she goes to school independently in a bicycle. He is torn apart when his Abhi moves to Delhi for her college. He loses his sleep when she says that she is going to marry the sardarji. He feels dethroned when his son in-law gets all the attention. You might ask if the daughter is really bringing in any happiness. But amidst all the pains, at every stage the father is more proud of his daughter than ever.

At the end of the movie you will want to go through all the emotions and pains of raising a daughter. As Abhi’s marriage gets closer, the dad starts to think of his own marriage. He realizes how much Anu’s parents must have missed her when they got married. Yes; Anu is the practical mother of Abhi (oh wait, is that me?) At every stage Abhi has taught him some great family values & respect for individuality indirectly. She has given him a whole new perspective of life.

On the way back home, I kept thinking of how much children transform our lives. Their spontaneous innocent reactions to certain situations teach us humanity, honesty, simplicity, love & trust.

When I got home, I saw my 2 boys sleeping peacefully. Kids are best when they are sound asleep. They symbolize love, purity & a divine peace. It’s like 3.00 a.m. I lie down beside my son, close my eyes and visualize the scenic hills in Ooty where the movie was filmed. I picture myself on a cool, calm hilltop. I am watching Abhi as she picks flowers from the flower bed. She flutters in the breeze and sings with the birds.

Suddenly it gets dark & cloudy. And then I hear a loud thunder; there is a sharp lightning. I am calling out “Abhi, Abhi..’ but my words are lost in the loud roaring winds. I run towards her. A huge rock rolling down from the top of the mountain hits me and I fall down unconsciously.

I try hard to open my eyes. The sun is shining brightly. I see my two boys fighting for a toy gun creating the thundering effect. My eyes are closing; I wish I can catch another hour of sleep. I call out to my husband to resolve the boys fight but receive a deep snoring reply. Unwillingly, I wake up to pull the boys apart.

I think of the previous night and say to myself “Maybe Abhi is only an angel in my dreams…”. In the end however it is a beautiful movie that leaves you feeling like you have read some nice poetry.